Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson died yesterday. I don't think the world will see a performer who can equal his on stage persona, his performances that had audiences screaming even when all he did on stage was stand still in his unique way!

I was in 8th or 9th standard when I first heard "Wanna be startin' something" from his "Thriller" album. That was the start of me becoming his number one fan. I bought large posters of MJ sticking them with gum on the official quarters' walls. Thankfully, my parents did not object. The moonwalk in "Billie Jean" was what made me try and learn break dance, as it was called then. No luck, but made me realise even then how hard it was to master. "Beat it" was and still is an addictive song, what with its beats and Eddie Van Halen at the lead guitar solo.

"Bad" was anticipated by me like a child awaiting Santa Claus in Christmas. "The way you make me feel" and "Smooth criminal" rocked and the videos were a must have, even as video cassettes as was prevalent then.

"Dangerous" was not much of the MJ I had loved. I didn't buy that album. I saw that his career was slipping, though "Black and white" was incomparable then. The media was taking digs at his eccentric lifestyle, the price he paid for his super-duper star status.

I bought "Invincible" in 2002 which was a huge disappointment. But I did manage to get a DVD of him "Live in Budapest" and I was mesmerised by his onstage performance. No one can match him there. On stage, he is the MJ he always was. Sorry, for using the present tense.

I remember, back when I was in school, the only competition MJ had, or near abouts, was Madonna. That's what a monopoly is, by his sheer singing and dancing talent.

He gave me so many hours of happiness-just watching him do what he loved to do-sing and dance. And for that, I am sad he passed away in my lifetime. He came and went as I turned from a boy to a man.

RIP, MJ. I salute your passion for what you did. I will always remember you as the one and only "King of Pop".

Giants live among us.

A hero, a teacher, an inspiration-so many terms used to imply the same emotion of admiration and love. Dr N Roy has been that for me and I am sure for many like me. Watching someone who has achieved the rare feat of being the best he can be, is a lesson in itself.

So many of us get lost in the trivia of inconsequental talk, purposeless action. So many of us work and never enjoy it on account of numerous issues related to work-our co-workers, our bosses, our customers (patients in my case). These affects all of us, but what we learn from these and how we rise or fall afterwards is what is important. An important lesson I learnt from Dr Roy is that if many persons make an issue about your work, and of your good work, that means you are doing well. This, of course, could be seen in a different manner by many, and many of us would tone down the intensity and level of the good work as a consequence. That would be the easiest way out-like taking to alcohol to escape reality. The other choice is to continue doing excellent work, as best is possible to oneself.

Another idea he inculcated in me was that sometimes a project one undertakes may not be "successful" as defined prior to starting it, but so much learning happens while working on one. "Peripheral learning issues"-like learning about hitherto unknown software! He talked about the sail on a ship. If the sail is up, one may get winds that guide one's ship towards one's port, but if the sail is down, one may never move onwards and will keep drifting where the currents may take it. Of course, this was a metaphor for opportunities and to keep one's mind active. This reveals how a man of thought and action thinks differently from the herd, from the passive majority.

Once he said "You'll regret the day you met me..." implying the amount of ideas and thus, work he would expect of us, but honestly, I regret not meeting him earlier.

I envy all the students and registrars who study and work under his stewardship. And I am glad I met him and that I will work with him for many years to come. Life takes on another color, a vibrancy, an excitement under a giant. So many "superiors"take pleasure in stilting, in discouraging, in breaking one at work. And so few inspire, encourage and lead not by words alone but by example. And these rare individuals make a difference, in the lives of any thinking person-student, employee or victims of disasters. Dr Roy is one of those rare individuals whom one misses once they leave for other cities and workplaces. But because I have known him, I cannot not speak about the wonderful impact he has had on my attitude towards work and towards life in general.

What a man.

Daughter in laws and nuclear families

I wonder at the (mostly) silent sufferings of daughter-in-laws who have to bear the venomous statements of mother-in-laws who view them as less-than-human. And then I realise that a nuclear family is a right choice for such women. There are happy families and there are unhappy families. And fact is that only persons make themselves happy or unhappy. One can change only oneself, noone else. I sympathise most of all for the sons who are literally caught between the frying pan and the fire.

Mother or spouse-whom do you love more? Actually, that choice is non-existent. One loves both differently. But this is made into a emotional battlefield where everyone will lose his peace of mind. Its a "false dichotomy". The sad part is a reversel of facts. Its an irrational assumption, held by educated and uneducated alike, that if you love her, you don't love me. The correct reply to such an accusation is "I love/ respect her. That does not mean I do not feel love/respect for you". But I wonder if such a simple statement of the truth changes what an unreasonable individual holds in the muck that substitutes for a human mind.

An individual is responsible for the consequences of his/her wrong thoughts and unintrospected emotions. But I see that such individuals attempt to transfer the blame for their irrationality on gullible victims. Its like "I am wrong/ evil in my thinking and therefore you must suffer". Kare koi aur bhare koi!! I absolutely disagree with such a convoluted thought process. In such a situation, the innocent suffer and the guilty gain.

I have seen good people who are great parents and I have seen the opposite. And I cannot view both kinds with the same emotional response. I have seen children who want to look after their old folks and I have seen the opposite. No child abandons his parents, but that can either be a happy experience or a painful duty. And that depends on whether the parents/In-laws see that as a welcome act or a slave's duty!

Taliban

Taliban.Whatever the meaning of that term, their ideas are wrong. To create a "society" where girls are denied access to education by force, where men are slaves to the edicts of the leader-that is not a dream but a nightmare. I am fortunate I am nowhere near where they are.

Such a "society" will have illiterate men and women. They will exist for some years and die, their only function in life being to obey, reproduce and die. The term "human" cannot be applied to such savages. Every "citizen" in such a land will have just one constant emotion, that of fear. The pursuit of happiness? LOL. It is the pursuit of unhappiness. And to say that one will reach happiness pursuing unhappiness is a contradiction.

There will be a few good men among these hordes, but such men will not survive for long amidst such mindlessness. Sadness is the only emotion I can feel for any such person who is unfortunate to be born amongst the Taliban.

It is of no use talking with them. They have lost the capacity of human communication. Their values are not of this world. And there is no other world. When faced with such a mindset, one should do one of two things-run or destroy them.

Friendship

Friends. What does it take to have or make a friend? A friend is an individual whose thinking "matches" ones own. Whose basic values and all the consequences of those values are similar to ones own. Ideas and preferences on a wide array of issues and objects. The nitty-gritty may differ, but the essence-the fundamental values are similar. Its not for help that one requires friends.Its not for charity or any such thing. It is for mutual happiness in communicating ideas, thoughts and opinions.

It is not an obligation. One is free to choose one's friends. And free not to make friends with those whose fundamental ideas are the opposite of ones own. I think one has to have made a character based on the right values, to find a similar-minded individual.Respect is important in friendship. Just as one expects and knows that his position will be considered, due consideration has to be granted to ones friend.
Simply put, one is happy knowing and having a friend. And that is reason enough to make one.

Time. Speed at work

Is there a substitute for work? No. There are persons who work, some fast and som not so fast. What I have to try and be is fast at work. I visualise the accelerator pedal in my Alto car when I touch 110km/h. Any work gets done faster when one does t at a brisk pace. Saving time equals making more time to do more productive things.

The only alternative to fast work is slow work! And seeing 70 plus patients in less than 7 hours on a PC based system requires of me to be fast at what I do.

Even household chores, if done fast is of value as that makes more time. A faster internet speed speeds up information transfer and thus, one's knowledge on whatever one is reading up on.

We will live just once. And this is true, the faster we think and act, the more we get done in this lifetime.Time is money and saving it means you have more of it to spend on.

Self-control,Happiness and frustration.

What is self-control? How and why should one control one's self. I think it means essentially to direct one's thoughts and thus, one's actions. In essence it means to not follow the whim of any particular moment. It means to act on one's rational thoughts and ideas-what many term "common sense". And not on one's whims and fancies. It is easy and difficult together. Easy when one is doing the right things, difficult when the urge to act on impulse recurs. What, then, is the genesis of this impulse, this whim? Its one's own life and the choices one has made that serves as a reference point at this crossroad.

When one has, even by default, always acted on common sense and reason, it is easy to guide one's thoughts and actions. If, on the other hand, one has failed to do that-it becomes increasingly difficult to act on one's logic.

Happiness lies in "self-control"-many say. What I think they mean is happiness results from acting on one's logic and reason. Frustration is the result of acting on whims and impulses. How many times have I felt both these emotions and I know which is the right emotion to have experienced. When happy, I feel nothing is impossible to try and do. When frustrated by unreasonable thoughts and actions, self-doubt slowly but surely creeps in. Then, existence becomes a dreary affair, devoid of the gaeity one has known in times when one was true to reality and to one's own rational standards.