I wonder at the (mostly) silent sufferings of daughter-in-laws who have to bear the venomous statements of mother-in-laws who view them as less-than-human. And then I realise that a nuclear family is a right choice for such women. There are happy families and there are unhappy families. And fact is that only persons make themselves happy or unhappy. One can change only oneself, noone else. I sympathise most of all for the sons who are literally caught between the frying pan and the fire.
Mother or spouse-whom do you love more? Actually, that choice is non-existent. One loves both differently. But this is made into a emotional battlefield where everyone will lose his peace of mind. Its a "false dichotomy". The sad part is a reversel of facts. Its an irrational assumption, held by educated and uneducated alike, that if you love her, you don't love me. The correct reply to such an accusation is "I love/ respect her. That does not mean I do not feel love/respect for you". But I wonder if such a simple statement of the truth changes what an unreasonable individual holds in the muck that substitutes for a human mind.
An individual is responsible for the consequences of his/her wrong thoughts and unintrospected emotions. But I see that such individuals attempt to transfer the blame for their irrationality on gullible victims. Its like "I am wrong/ evil in my thinking and therefore you must suffer". Kare koi aur bhare koi!! I absolutely disagree with such a convoluted thought process. In such a situation, the innocent suffer and the guilty gain.
I have seen good people who are great parents and I have seen the opposite. And I cannot view both kinds with the same emotional response. I have seen children who want to look after their old folks and I have seen the opposite. No child abandons his parents, but that can either be a happy experience or a painful duty. And that depends on whether the parents/In-laws see that as a welcome act or a slave's duty!
